Again


 I watch myself shift my eyes from side to side

And feel words come to my lips

Meaningful words

Poetry

And I look up to speak

But hold them down


Because last time they came

They came and came and flooded

Flooded until I choked as they came out,

My eyes wide with fear,

Clinging to a voice at the end of the phone

In a screaming void of reality


And then the words left with a sob

Mired in a reality of embarrassment

I shook my head to clear the fog

But how could I speak when I had no thoughts?

I tried to remember the sound of my own laugh,

Waiting for the hour hand to lift me up.


I look up to speak.

Will you hold me down?

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