This is How I Survive


This is How I Survive

A slithering sickly rattle
Of cockroach chitin on stone
Wet stale dungeon darkness
Drips
Echo
I lay my golden hair back into
Black gritty grime and the strands clump together, wet.
Black spreads through my jeans like
Ink in a glass of water.

I let their bodies touch mine,
Cold cockroach wings against my skin
I close my eyes and feel them on
my face,
my lips.
And I give my warmth freely, a release of breath,
For I trust
in my love of a tree.

Clear water, white tile
Ink in a glass in rewind
Black swirls away
And the water glows pearly
With the light of the evening sun.

I am still
Still
Falling in love takes time.
Falling in love takes time.

The last warm breath of the dying sun is here
still
As my pink lips kiss your beloved grey wood.

The sunlight that lit up your new green leaves
      And kissed my upturned face
Is gone
now.

The moon stretches your arms into shadows
That reach for me, silently,
And I bow my head.

Your months flow smoothly
Not too fast
Not too slow
Not too hot
Not too cold

You are here
You are still
And you don't look away.

This is how I survive.

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